Do Your Children See Contentment In You?

We live in a world that is moving so fast with technology and hectic schedules and we’re running a race to keep up with it most of the time that contentment is somewhat of a mystery. Yet we are starving for it. It’s the very thing we are actually reaching for as we’re running this race called life and it’s right there in our grasp, but we’re missing it. Why? I believe if we can answer that question it’s a step forward to finding the contentment we are searching for. It’s a personal question that can have a different answer for each individual.

As I travel it seems that I see contentment in our young children and our elders. You know how kids that are 5 yrs old can just go out into the yard and play in the dirt and run through the grass for hours? Or an elder can sit on the porch in a rocking chair watching people walk by greeting them with a good morning or afternoon. No rush to get anything done just enjoying the moment. But for those of us in those in between years, we’re missing it. Why? Is it because those of us in between are still running for achievement in our careers, trying to give our children all the best clothes, education, and gadgets to make them feel like they fit in with their peers?

    I don’t want to infer that one should not have goals or seek to become a better person or make certain achievements, but can you do it in a way that you can appreciate where you are at the moment? Do you pause for a moment or two to be grateful for what you’ve accomplished thus far and experience contentment? Can you be still and think about the great things right in front of you without getting antsy pantsy that you have to get up and do something right away.

    I saw contentment recently as I’ve been spending the summer in Maine. I understand why people who live in large cities buy summer and retirement homes here. It’s a quiet place, full of mountains, fresh water streams, brooks, lakes, a lot of land that’s not inhabited by people, and a beautiful coastline. People are very laid back yet have to work very hard for their money. I saw contentment as I was out on a boat watching two men fish, just enjoying the quiet of the morning as the sun was coming up and wondering if they’d get a bite.

 

Can you see the mist on the mountains? All is quiet and it’s just you and your friend. Or maybe it’s you and your son or daughter enjoying each other’s company. Not thinking about what happened yesterday or what you have to do tomorrow or next week, but just experiencing the cool of the day.

What are we doing for our children to ensure they can stop and appreciate what’s right in front of them and enjoying the moment? Like witnessing a sunset, or a deer in the backyard, or sitting and talking with their grandfather who can share wisdom they may never receive from anyone else. As the fishing trip continues it wasn’t just about two men who have found contentment, but sharing it with a young man who is about to enter high school this September.

     This was his 14^th birthday. I see him sitting there listening intently to his elders, enjoying the moment of a relaxed morning on the boat with his grandfather and uncle. Now there was a price to pay for this! Isn’t there always? He awakened at 3:30 a.m. to enjoy this morning on the boat and he was rewarded in many ways. In some ways the rewards aren’t apparent right now but will come later. I know I have some of my greatest childhood memories spending time with my grandfather fishing in rivers and brooks for trout and I am so grateful for those memories today. It has allowed me to find contentment in the little things of life and remember those memories when times can become a bit too hectic in my daily life today. The immediate reward this young man got was he happened to be the only one who caught a fish that day.

 

 Can you see the joy on his face? I’m of the belief that’s how his grandfather and uncle wanted it to happen. They have found contentment in their lives that it’s doesn’t matter whether they catch a fish or not but enjoyed the excitement that comes from seeing the younger generation experience the catch. Personally, I got great gratification to enjoy the moment and witness this opportunity to create great memories amongst family.

  

I end with the question I started with, Do your children see contentment in you? How are they seeing it? What examples are being shown to them?

Comments

[Meg Tully]

Love this post and love this book. I am a nanny and teacher and I love that her goal is helping children to be as independent as possible for their age and ability level. Helping a child to be independent and appropriately interdependent is equivalent to teaching them to fish rather than giving them a fish.

The focus on clear expectations and consistency is perfect. In fact, this is the ONLY way children "get stuff". Kids to act out for a variety of reasons, but in my experience it's far more pervasive when a schedule and clear expectations are absent.

Thanks for this wonderful guide to a happier family life!!!!