The "Yes, I Can" Child

It's Not Always About Winning, but About Classy Character in Youth Sports!!

Careful, it will make you cry...

Arkansas Player Ends Game with Noble Gesture

Thamail Morgan took the kickoff and headed up the field.

He was at the 20 ... 30 ... 40

He had been avoiding, dodging or just simply running through tacklers on the way. Football always had come easily for Morgan. This game was no different. By the time he hit midfield, only open space was ahead of him. The two-time Arkansas all-state selection was headed for a touchdown.

40 ... 30 ... 20

He glanced at the clock and saw the final seconds ticking away. He realized his team, Cave City, was on the way to a victory over Yellville-Summit, comfortably ahead, 34-16. He also realized two other things: This wasn't an ordinary game. And he wasn't the same Thamail Morgan.

When he reached the 2, he stopped. He took a few steps back and took a knee at the 5-yard line.

******

Yelleville-Summit is a co-op program, a combination of two small rural schools in the northern part of Arkansas, near the Missouri border. Combining the schools allows them to field a football team. But even then, the squad is so small that coach Calvin Mallett has to bring extra uniforms in case a lineman gets hurt and someone needs to fill in.

On Sept. 11, before a game with Salem, the schools came together for a pep rally. Afterward, four of the players piled into the bed of Kymball Duffy's truck to head to his house for a pre-game meal.

According to Marion County Sheriff Roger Vickers, this is what happened next.

As Duffy came over a hill, he quickly came upon a brush pile in the road. Duffy swerved into the other side of the road, attempting to avoid it. He lost control of the truck, sending it into a tumble.

The four players in the back - whose names are not being released - were thrown from the vehicle. Miraculously, three of the players in the back suffered only minor injuries. A fourth remains in the hospital but appears to be headed for recovery. Duffy was killed at the scene.

The game with Salem was cancelled.

The town held memorial services for Duffy, then decided they needed to continue the season as part of the healing process.

Before taking on Cave City, the most seriously injured of the four players in the back of the truck, spoke to the team from his hospital bed.

Players from Yellville-Summit and Cave City met at midfield before the game for a moment of remembrance. Players on both teams were a No. 72 decal - Duffy's number - on their helmet.

The game began and Cave City quickly scored. Minutes later, it scored again. And again. All hope for a storybook ending appeared lost.

******

Thamail Morgan is the type of player who can dominate a high school game. On every play.

Last year, playing for Newport in a state playoff game against Heber Springs, he had 15 tackles, a sack and two forced fumbles on defense. He had 145 yards receiving and two touchdowns on offense.

He was coveted by most Division I programs in the South. Then it all changed.

In January, he violated an unspecified school rule that banned him from athletics for a year. Morgan would be eligible for basketball during his senior season but not football.

A year away from football would hurt his chances of gaining a scholarship, so - after considering a number of options - he transferred roughly 40 miles away to Cave City. His scholarship offers did not travel with him.

"Before I screwed up and got myself into trouble, I had some schools like Arkansas, Florida State, Ole Miss, and some other big schools looking at me,'' he said. "Now they are not looking at me, but I have no one to blame but myself for that. Hopefully I can get on someone's radar, even if it is a lower level D-1 or D-2 school."

Cave City coach Jon Bradley was willing to take a chance on Morgan. But only if he met certain conditions. He not only is required to attend extra weight lifting and conditioning exercises, he is required to participate in after-school activities with a local church and meet with a pastor on a regular basis for counseling.

"Everyone makes mistakes," Bradley said. "Thamail made some mistakes that did not allow him to play football anymore at Newport, and we knew what those mistakes were when he came here. I sat him down and talked to him, and let him know I was willing to give him a chance, but there were certain things that he would have to do in order to play for our program.

"So far, he has accomplished, and continues to do everything he has been asked to do, and then some. He has transitioned well and the kids here have accepted him. He is doing well in class, and is a leader on the football field and is a great athlete. We feel fortunate to have him."

******

Bradley said he didn't get word the game with Yellville-Summit was going to be played until Tuesday. He then wondered all week how it would play out.

"I did not know what to expect due to the tragedy,'' he said. "You go into the game wanting to win, but then, you feel bad doing it. When we went up 21-0 in the first quarter, I just can't explain how I felt. The atmosphere was so weird. I just can't explain it."

His players sensed it too.

"They told me on the sidelines that Yellville-Summit was not into it and they did not want to pad stats or run up the score,'' he said. "At that time, I started substituting our kids in and out of the game."

At this point, what the game represented became clear to Bradley.

"Everyone was glad that they were out there playing, getting some sort of return to normalcy,'' he said. "But everyone was going to be glad when it was over."

Yellville-Summit eventually scored in the second quarter, after Cave City had replaced many of its regulars. Bradley did not have a problem with that.

"I talked with Coach Mallet earlier in the week and before the game," Bradley said. "He let me know that if the game was to get out of hand, he simply did not have the players to substitute due to his numbers. So, I knew that when I pulled our guys, that there was a chance they would score."

It was 28-8 at halftime. Then 34-8 at the end of three quarters. Yelleville-Summit scored a second time with little time left to make it 34-16.

They had to kick off, sending a line drive that bounced its way to the back. To Morgan.

"We didn't even think they would kick off," Bradley said. "And we had him (Morgan) all the way back. It was our top return team, but we only have one return team."

What he did next surprised Bradley.

"I did not tell him to kneel down, he did it on his own," Bradley said. "I did not expect them to kick it to him. I figured they would kick away, because he has the ability to break away. I did not know that he was going to do what he did. He broke tackles, ran sideline to sideline, and got to the 2, and just stopped. That is when he backed up and took a knee on the 5-yard line."

******

Morgan did not do this completely on his own.

"We were on the sidelines yelling for him not to score," Bradley said. "Some of the players on the field were saying it, too. But I'm not sure how much he could have heard all of it."

He heard it, Morgan admitted. But he didn't need to.

"Before the game, we as a team talked about being classy,'' he said. "We did not want to come out in a game like this and not show any class.

"As I was running, some of my teammates told me not to score, and I knew that scoring was not the right thing to do."

He was glad to be a part of what happened.

"I just want to thank my teammates for not only being classy all night, but pushing me to be classy as well,'' he said.

The gesture was well received.

"We weren't sure how gloomy they would be before the game,'' Morgan said. "They had gloom, but it was not as bad as we thought. We met before the game, and they told us that they did not want us to feel sorry for them, and they did not want us to back off just because of what happened. They wanted us to play them like we would have if Duffy has still been there with them, so we did.

"After the game, they complimented us, and even thanked us for the way that we played them. They are some really cool cats, and I wish them the best of luck with their healing process and the rest of their season. I hope they make the playoffs."

******

What becomes of the rest of Morgan's football career remains to be seen.

He is getting interest from Arkansas State and Central Arkansas. Bigger schools such as Southern Miss and Texas Tech are starting to re-enter the picture.

At 6-1, 195 with a 4.5 time in the 40, there's no doubt he can play. It's the other issues that are a concern. Bradley is doing his best to make those go away.

"I send things out to places and I tell schools, he's had some off the field issues, but if you're interested, please call me because it's not near as bad as what it sounds,'' Bradley said. "They assume his grades are bad or that he's done something really, really bad. Everyone deserves a second chance. He's doing the right thing."

Bradley said he and Morgan have had many talks, but none of them have been about behavior.

"He's not a discipline problem at all,'' Bradley said. "His grades are getting better. He'll have an opportunity to play. He's too good of an athlete and too good of a young man right now."

Bradley admitted he had concerns at the beginning but they have proven to be unfounded.

"I've never seen anything negative out of the kid,'' he said. "He's the most polite kid. He works hard. He knows he has one shot to get his education.

"He's showing people he's doing the right thing."

That was never more evident as when he kneeled down on the field.

By: Luke Matheson is the Publisher for ArkansasVarsity.com. Luke Matheson can be reached at Luke@ArkansasVarsity.com.

College Students Making a Difference Through Charity

Another great story that shows our young men and women are making a difference in their communities. It only takes one to create a spark and turn an idea into a flame that affects many. As parents and role models are we making sure it's a positive spark? Be inpsired...

http://news.aol.com/philanthropy/article/facebook-fundraiser-saves-college/675645?icid=main|main|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Fphilanthropy%2Farticle%2Ffacebook-fundraiser-saves-college%2F675645

Kanye West Completely Disrespectful at VMA's

What Are You Doing to Connect With Your Child?

I gotta say when I saw this incident occur at the awards with Kanye West stepping on stage and completely interrupting Taylor Swift when receiving an award I was ripped. I wanted to take the guy aside, look him in the eye and ask him do you have any idea what you have just done? Because you think that this person shouldn’t have received this award you think you have the right to disrupt an entire event and make another person feel so small and unworthy when she didn’t have anything to do with choosing who got the award? But it goes much deeper than that. What about the example he’s setting for any youth who admire him for his accomplishments? What about the idea of being a gentleman to a lady? There’s nothing wrong with having a voice and I encourage all the families I work with to allow their children to have one. I just wrote a post about how great I think that is while having a conversation with some teenagers at Grand Central Station. But if we don’t have a sense of common courtesy in society we will fall apart. I know, I know there are many cases you can throw back at me where there’s been unfair treatment to others when looking at civil rights. I don’t deny that in any way and I have many friends from diverse backgrounds that teach me so much by sharing their life stories, but I know there’s no way they would say that this act was acceptable. It was a disgrace and each time a person who has such a high profile does such an act it affects all the rest coming up after him and those they influence by being fans and followers. You might ask, what responsibility does Kanye have in how our youth are developing? A lot! Did he ask for it? Not directly but the responsibility is still there. I recall having great mentors in my life say to me over and over again to be mindful of how I am influencing those around me. If someone wants to be in the limelight there’s a responsibility that goes with it. We wonder why so many of our youth have no respect for authority and react on impulse without considering the consequences that go with it? They typically are just thinking of themselves and what they want “right now.” Not how this will affect them later, in an hour, a day, a month or even years. Why wouldn’t they? They see it occurring all the time around them. Why wouldn’t they just follow with what they are being influence by? In the end I saw compassion and sorrow in Kanye as he spoke with Jay Leno the following night of this incident. I knew when it happened that the incident stemmed from something much deeper in Kanye based on past pain, loss, frustration that hasn’t been resolved and wounds that need to heal. Kanye couldn’t respond to Jay Leno’s question regarding what his mother would say to him if she were still here? So my question to you as a parent is what are you doing to connect with your child to see that they are whole and emotionally healthy? What influence are you having on them to build their self-esteem and self-worth so they aren’t carrying anger and resentment inside them that can force them to erupt and act on impulse and hurt other people?  To respect others and understand they are having a positive or negative effect on others everyday. That it’s not just about them! It takes a love connection between you and your child to help in nurturing them to become the healthy and emotionally stable person they are called to be. I can give you three suggestions to build a strong foundation.

1. Set the example by the way you lead your life with integrity
2. Keep the communication open and honest and dedicate yourself to making time to do this often. Daily, twice a week, etc. You as the parent need to determine how often this needs to happen and then stick to it.
3. Continue to assure your child that you love him/her no matter what. Accept them where they are in their development, set boundaries, give encouragement, and remain consistent.

    I urge you to ask yourself how strong is your connection is with your child and based on the actions you are taking right now what will this look like in the future? Let me hear your thoughts on this? I am sure this could turn into quite a discussion on many different levels.

9/11, Grand Central Station & Four Teenagers

I was in Manhattan on 9/11 and had a meeting with a potential client on the Upper West Side at the south end of Central Park at 9:30 a.m. I don’t typically have to take early morning commutes and rarely into NYC. In some ways this was good for me to get a feel for what the typical person does daily who works in this city. Part of me admires their tenacity to commute the distance and time they do daily to provide for their family. I can’t picture myself doing it in any form of transportation whether by car, train, or plane on a daily basis probably because I’ve never had to do so. This is a lot of time to me that’s spent sitting  and waiting to get to and from work.

 

I was thinking about what NYC was like on this day 8 yrs ago and watching people today as they were on their way to work. Were they thinking about 9/11 back on 2001 like I was? I pondered about how many were actually happy with life in general. Were they going to a job they truly enjoyed and were passionate about? Or was it just to make ends meet? Were they thankful that they are safe, have a job in this economy, and not in the Twin Towers at the time of the attacks?  Or were they so wrapped up in what needed to get done that day they didn’t think to remember? I paused to remember the families who have lost loved ones during that time as I sat on the train to get to Grand Central Station.

 

As I landed in Grand Central from Connecticut I had to catch the subway to my stop on the Upper West Side. I recalled a recent writing I posted here about our children teaching us to appreciate the extraordinary as I was walking along to catch the right subway and glimpsed a man performing with a guitar and singing. I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t, I was running late. I think I needed to have a child with me to remind me to stop and not worry if I was late. Just enjoy the moment, but I didn’t. At least I thought about it, but I didn’t stop.

 

I arrived just in time at my destination because honestly I stepped onto an express train when I shouldn’t have and it took me pass my stop and I had to get off, get on the local train and head back downtown. Hey, the map told me I had to be on the A train, I didn’t think it mattered if I was on the express or not. So I’m reminded to look at the specifics and pay attention to the details in order to get to where I need to be. Isn’t that how life works as well. We can have a vision of what we want to do, who we want to be and where we want to go, but if we aren’t willing to work the details of the plan the vision doesn’t come to fruition.

 

As I finish my meeting and get back to Grand Central to catch the train back to where I am staying I have some free time to wander, watch, and catch up on some phone calls and emails. I’m in the process of texting a lady about a workshop I’m doing for her organization next week when 4 kids walk up to me and ask me if I have time to answer some questions for a survey. Why not? I have the time. I’m going to assume they are in high school since it’s the middle of the day and middle school kids and younger shouldn’t be wandering streets of NYC without their parents or another adult. They were each from different diverse backgrounds, African American, Hispanic, and Asian. The survey involved 3 questions. In one word what is my definition of democracy? What will it take to have this? How can it be incorporated into schools? I was able to answer the first question with one word, the second with two words and the third I said there’s no way I can answer that in one sentence, but I was able to do so in a 30 second explanation. Their eyes popped out and they were impressed with what I had to say. Personally I was happy to just get the chance to add some positive to their day and let them know there is hope for them. Are you instilling hope in our youth by the words you say and example you set?

 

I thought this was cool that these kids were doing this. To hear how others think and gain a larger perspective from people of various walks of life. This caused me to think back to the beginning of my day as I sat on the train to go to NYC and remembering 9/11. We live in a democracy that allows us to speak out our thoughts and feelings. This allows our youth to have choices to think outside the box, explore, and determine for themselves who they want to become. I was uplifted as I headed home to remind myself of the freedom I have in this country that far outweighs many other places in this world. Is there still unfairness that occurs? Too much of it in my mind! But we still have a choice to make a difference one at a time with people we encounter each day. Are you seeing opportunities in your day to encourage our youth or passing it by?