What Are You Doing to Connect With Your Child?
I gotta say when I saw this incident occur at the awards with Kanye West stepping on stage and completely interrupting Taylor Swift when receiving an award I was ripped. I wanted to take the guy aside, look him in the eye and ask him do you have any idea what you have just done? Because you think that this person shouldn’t have received this award you think you have the right to disrupt an entire event and make another person feel so small and unworthy when she didn’t have anything to do with choosing who got the award? But it goes much deeper than that. What about the example he’s setting for any youth who admire him for his accomplishments? What about the idea of being a gentleman to a lady? There’s nothing wrong with having a voice and I encourage all the families I work with to allow their children to have one. I just wrote a post about how great I think that is while having a conversation with some teenagers at Grand Central Station. But if we don’t have a sense of common courtesy in society we will fall apart. I know, I know there are many cases you can throw back at me where there’s been unfair treatment to others when looking at civil rights. I don’t deny that in any way and I have many friends from diverse backgrounds that teach me so much by sharing their life stories, but I know there’s no way they would say that this act was acceptable. It was a disgrace and each time a person who has such a high profile does such an act it affects all the rest coming up after him and those they influence by being fans and followers. You might ask, what responsibility does Kanye have in how our youth are developing? A lot! Did he ask for it? Not directly but the responsibility is still there. I recall having great mentors in my life say to me over and over again to be mindful of how I am influencing those around me. If someone wants to be in the limelight there’s a responsibility that goes with it. We wonder why so many of our youth have no respect for authority and react on impulse without considering the consequences that go with it? They typically are just thinking of themselves and what they want “right now.” Not how this will affect them later, in an hour, a day, a month or even years. Why wouldn’t they? They see it occurring all the time around them. Why wouldn’t they just follow with what they are being influence by? In the end I saw compassion and sorrow in Kanye as he spoke with Jay Leno the following night of this incident. I knew when it happened that the incident stemmed from something much deeper in Kanye based on past pain, loss, frustration that hasn’t been resolved and wounds that need to heal. Kanye couldn’t respond to Jay Leno’s question regarding what his mother would say to him if she were still here? So my question to you as a parent is what are you doing to connect with your child to see that they are whole and emotionally healthy? What influence are you having on them to build their self-esteem and self-worth so they aren’t carrying anger and resentment inside them that can force them to erupt and act on impulse and hurt other people? To respect others and understand they are having a positive or negative effect on others everyday. That it’s not just about them! It takes a love connection between you and your child to help in nurturing them to become the healthy and emotionally stable person they are called to be. I can give you three suggestions to build a strong foundation.
- Set the example by the way you lead your life with integrity
- Keep the communication open and honest and dedicate yourself to making time to do this often. Daily, twice a week, etc. You as the parent need to determine how often this needs to happen and then stick to it.
- Continue to assure your child that you love him/her no matter what. Accept them where they are in their development, set boundaries, give encouragement, and remain consistent.
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