You know how it is when you're trying to get your child to listen and respond respectfully when you're talking to them. Whether it's picking up their toys, coming in for dinner, or getting to their homework. When I'm working with them as young as 2 years old I use the 1,2,3 approach that indicates to them that once I get to 3 if they have chosen not to do as I ask, they are either going to time out or receive a consequence. Such as a loss of a toy, computer time, or whatever happens to pertain to the situation. Ex. If they aren't eating their dinner they lose dessert.
Recently, I've been working with this amazing 2 yr old and within the first 5 days she was responding to me when I was speaking with her. Of course, I had to put her in time out a couple of times for her to learn that when not listening to me she would go to time out until she chose to do the right thing and listen to me and follow through with my request.
There have even been times when she has calmly told me "yes, I want to go to time out" when I've counted and gotten to three and she walks to her place calmly. I let her go and every 2 minutes (based on her age) I ask her if she's ready to leave time out and continue with whatever our plan was in the first place. Sometimes she's ready the first time I ask her and sometimes not, but it hasn't turned into a negative thing for her, as much as it has been constructive for her to think about what choice she has made, why she has made the choice and when she will choose to do as I have asked.
On this particular day we were coming in from playing outside and it was time to wash our hands. I directed her to get her stool and take it to the bathroom so she could reach the faucet. She picks up the stool and starts carrying it down the hallway to the bathroom. She get halfway down the hallway and drops the stool and keeps walking. I'm following behind her and she gets to the door and turns around. I called to her and said she would need to come get the stool or she wouldn't be tall enough to wash her hands in the sink. She said "no, you get the stool Lesa". As I'm attempting to explain to her that I don't need the stool because I'm tall enough to reach the sink and that she's the one who needs the stool she starts counting "1, pauses like she's expecting me to do as she says, 2 and 3" and then she says, "Lesa, go to time out!"
There were family members around as this was occurring who missed this hilarious yet profound scene and I turned around and said to them, Did you hear that? This child is telling me that I need to pick up this stool and bring it to the bathroom or I am going to sit in time out. Of course they found this quite humorous. My point to them was are you paying attention to how bright this young lady is at 2 years old? Are you setting the right expectations for her based on that?
I responded by explaining to her that she's the one to pick up the stool because she's the one who needs to use the stool and she follow through. I was laughing on the inside and only slightly on the outside thinking we just don't give kids enough credit on how fast they learn and retain what we are teaching them.
Has your child sent you to time out? Why?
Are you setting the right expectations for them to reach their full potential and not learn to manipulate you?
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