The "Yes, I Can" Child

A 2 Year Old Counted to 3 and Told Me to Go to Time Out. Has Your Child Ever Sent You to Time Out?

You know how it is when you're trying to get  your child to listen and respond respectfully when you're talking to them. Whether it's picking up their toys, coming in for dinner, or getting to their homework. When I'm working with them as young as 2 years old I use the 1,2,3 approach that indicates to them that once I get to 3 if they have chosen not to do as I ask, they are either going to time out or receive a consequence. Such as a loss of a toy, computer time, or whatever happens to pertain to the situation. Ex. If they aren't eating their dinner they lose dessert.

Recently, I've been working with this amazing 2 yr old and within the first 5 days she was responding to me when I was speaking with her. Of course, I had to put her in time out a couple of times for her to learn that when not listening to me she would go to time out until she chose to do the right thing and listen to me and follow through with my request.

There have even been times when she has calmly told me "yes, I want to go to time out" when I've counted and gotten to three and she walks to her place calmly. I let her go and every 2 minutes (based on her age) I ask her if she's ready to leave time out and continue with whatever our plan was in the first place. Sometimes she's ready the first time I ask her and sometimes not, but it hasn't turned into a negative thing for her, as much as it has been constructive for her to think about what choice she has made, why she has made the choice and when she will choose to do as I have asked.

On this particular day we were coming in from playing outside and it was time to wash our hands. I directed her to get her stool and take it to the bathroom so she could reach the faucet. She picks up the stool and starts carrying it down the hallway to the bathroom. She get halfway down the hallway and drops the stool and keeps walking. I'm following behind her and she gets to the door and turns around. I called to her and said she would need to come get the stool or she wouldn't be tall enough to wash her hands in the sink. She said "no, you get the stool Lesa". As I'm attempting to explain to her that I don't need the stool because I'm tall enough to reach the sink and that she's the one who needs the stool she starts counting "1, pauses like she's expecting me to do as she says, 2 and 3" and then she says, "Lesa, go to time out!"

There were family members around as this was occurring who missed this hilarious yet profound scene and I turned around and said to them, Did you hear that? This child is telling me that I need to pick up this stool and bring it to the bathroom or I am going to sit in time out. Of course they found this quite humorous. My point to them was are you paying attention to how bright this young lady is at 2 years old? Are you setting the right expectations for her based on that?

I responded by explaining to her that she's the one to pick up the stool because she's the one who needs to use the stool and she follow through. I was laughing on the inside and only slightly on the outside thinking we just don't give kids enough credit on how fast they learn and retain what we are teaching them.

Has your child sent you to time out? Why?

Are you setting the right expectations for them to reach their full potential and not learn to manipulate you?

Yo, I Slipped into Wet Cement With a 2 Year Old, How Would You Respond?

Honestly, I promise you it's true and had it not happen to me personally I would only think it happens on tv (like America’s Funniest Home Videos) or in movies to bring laughter to the audience. Wet cement all over the left side of her body and my left foot.

 

The point of my story is that based on my reaction to the situation, it allowed this wonderful 2 year old to remain calm and not get all dramatic about what happened. She can thrive on the drama and show all kinds of tantrums with her mom and yet when she’s with me she listens, follows through with the 1,2,3 approach, and will even decide to go to time out when she knows she needs to sit, think, and make a decision to do the right thing. She doesn’t see it as punishment with me as much as she sees it as a time to cool down, think  and regroup.

So on this day when we fell in wet cement we’re going to the library and a week earlier when we went she was fascinated with some construction that had been happening near the parking lot. Seeing the workers with the big dump truck and back hoe and how it all works to move the dirt and put it in the back of the truck. At 2 years old we have the opportunity to teach them sooooo many things because of their curiousity and hunger to learn. The question we must ask is, "Are we teaching them the positive or negative aspects of life?"

 

This week the men were laying cement and she watched as we walked passed them. We stopped to see the sculpture of the little boy reading a book. With her wonderful curiousity about everything we start pointing out parts of his body, like his nose, his ears, mouth, and feet, etc.

 

We’re now walking away to head toward to library entrance and we notice some orange cones and she touches them. When walking out in the community she always holds my two fingers for safety (as she gets older she might come to me one day and say I wasn't really paying attention to keep her safe on this particular day, wink) and as we’re touching the oranges cones we start talking about how her big sisters have cones just like this that they use when playing soccer in the yard. Well, I wasn’t paying attention as to why those cones were there and of course neither was this wonderful little two year old and as we take that next step upon touching the cones what do you suppose happened? Ya, you got it, the cone was an attempt to create a barrier of wet cement and she stepped in it, lost her balance and went down on her left side so that from feet to shoulder she got covered in wet cement. Fortunately, I was holding her other hand and immediately lifted her up and one of my feet went down into the cement. Can you picture it? My immediate response was, "Whoops a daisy" and  then said "Hmm, sweetheart I think we’ll need to wait to go into the library. We'll go back home and clean up a bit and then come back". All the while she’s completely calm and looking at what happened, wondering what’s this stuff covering her left side. I explained to her that it was cement and she’s looking at her hand like she’s getting ready to taste it. I told her "no, babe we don’t eat that, it’s all sorts of dirt and we need to clean it off".

 

So we head back to the car.

 

On our way there we passed by the construction workers. I greeted them and told them I was really sorry to mess up there work, but there were now footprints over there where they had laid cement. They were very gracious and said they were sorry we got so messy in the process. I said, "oh no worries we’re headed home to get into the tub and we’ll be clean in no time". All this time this wonderful girl is remaining calm and maybe even in shock because she’s still trying to figure out what this stuff is. She keeps looking at her hand shaking it trying to see if the cement will come off and realizing it’s sticking there. I continue to reassure her not to worry that we will wash it off as soon as we get home.

 

When we get to the car before I consider putting her in her car seat I have to tell you I lost it. I started laughing hysterically like I can’t believe this is actually happening in real life. This laughing continues for a good 5 minutes, seriously, and you know what, she’s not laughing with me. She’s looking at me still speechless not knowing what to do. I explained to her that I was going to take off her coat and pants before I put her in the car seat so we could avoid having all this dirt in the car. She was fine with that. We were home in less that 10 minutes and went into the house getting ready for a bath. I’m still having spurts of laughter all through this ordeal. I’m thinking this is only suppose to happen on tv.

 

Bath time was great, she wanted to play with her toys and was completely content doing so for an hour. Singing, making bubbles, playing with her letters and numbers. We finished the bath and I packed a lunch for us to have at the duck pond and then we went back to the library without stepping in any wet cement.

 

Have you ever stepped in wet cement? If you have was it intentional? What was your response? It's been a few weeks since this occurred and I'm still laughing as I'm writing this post for you.

 

I share this story with you because what if I had responded differently when this occurred? What if I had freaked out with all this drama and caused her to get all dramatic about it? Well, it would have become a situation much bigger than it had to be when it didn’t need to. I was able to keep it light and gain laughter from it so she would know it wasn’t a big deal. Ask yourself, how would you have responded to this if it had happened to you?

In times of unexpected situations or stressful times what example are you setting for your child based on your reaction? Do you find humor? Are you calm in the midst of it all?

Share with me your thoughts and stories?