The "Yes, I Can" Child

Dad's Getting Praise in the NY Times

Great to see Dad's getting praise in the NY Times...Go Dads!! NY Times: Fathers Gain Respect From Experts (and Moms)

Rocket Fuel Found in Most Powdered Infant Formulas

See article by Dr. Mercola Rocket Fuel Found in Infant Formulas

Our Hearts are Moved More by Great Effort than Winning Championships

I just watched a girls jump roping team perform for our soldiers. My heart was jumping with all kinds of emotions as I watched the girls work in sync together to perform this 10 minute routine. The soldiers were yelling cheers of approval and excitement as they watched these phenomenal girls. This wasn’t a competition. They were there to honor our soldiers and say thank you for their service to the U.S.A.

Watch the video…

 

Girls Jump Rope Team Performance

 

Can you imagine the dedication to practice these young ladies had to have to be soooooo great in working this routine. They had to think about the team as a whole and sync together in each move in order to make it work. One individual couldn’t have a mindset that “it’s all about me.”

It got me thinking about what really moves people to cheer, encourage, and give support to others. It usually isn’t about “being the best” as much as it is “doing your best”. Sometimes we can get so caught up in telling our kids that they have to be the best when we should be more concerned about reinforcing them to do their best based on their gifts and talents. Think about the child on a team who is giving it everything she’s got and still not the top player. You feel for this person. You want her to rise to the top. You want her to be recognized. You can’t help cheering for her. You want her to succeed. Am I right?

 

Think about how often you see people rooting for the “underdogs” when watching anything competitive. Rocky movies, the Karate Kid, The Mighty Ducks or Rudy. Why do we do that? Well I’m of the belief that it’s because of the “heart”. You’ve made a connection and can relate to the person your watching. You see their determination, their setbacks, their willingness to take the next step and you want to see them victorious. It also gives you hope and inspires you to take that next step forward. It gives you that ounce of belief you need to say I’ll try one more time because if they can do it, I can do it. If they go through the pain and succeed, I can too.

 

So if great effort moves the heart of people to connect more so than being the best shouldn’t this be the focus with our youth today. Why does the child in Manhattan taking violin have to be sitting in the first chair of the orchestra if he’s doing his best and truly enjoying the art of making music with this instrument? Why does the young man playing football receive so much pressure to gain the most yards when those who know him see his passion and willingness to give it all he’s got for the team but doesn’t rank as #1? Why is the girl who’s been taking ballet for 10 years at age 15 pressured to practice everyday for hours on end because others want her to be the “prima ballerina”?

 

I’m of the belief that if we can focus on teaching our youth to put forth their greatest effort in all they do vs. being #1 they will succeed in all areas of their life rather than feeling like failures. Think about it? A mentality of being number one carries big egos, arrogance, and being self-centered. It establishes a mindset of “it’s all about me”. How are they going to succeed when they start working for companies? When it requires building teams of employees to complete a project? Or even starting their own companies and finding the right talent needed to make the company successful? Can you imagine your child starting in the work force today looking for employment and having an attitude that they are the best at what they do and should get the job? There’s more to it than that. Are they willing to be dedicated to work with others, doing whatever it takes to make the company better? Think about how easy is has been for you to cheer for the underdog? Why? If you were hiring somebody which person would you most likely hire? The one with above average talent with a determination and passion to succeed at the job or the person who has the high credentials that appears arrogant and has possible difficulty working with others?

 

I know that what I’m saying is not new, but somewhere we’re forgetting this principle. How do I know that? Because of reports that come out with schools moving students around in certain districts to create championship teams. I see parents pressuring their child to do certain activities and practice, practice, practice for the #1 spot so they can boast about it rather than thinking about what their child really wants. How is this going to affect them as they go into adulthood?

I’m urging all of us to think about what we are teaching our children? How are we preparing them for the future? I’ll give you three tips to follow that you can start incorporating into their lives today…

1.    What matters most is they are doing their best and give them praise for doing so.

2.    How they treat others will determine how well they will function in society no matter what they pursue for a career. Start teaching them these principles now by your example as a parent, caregiver or mentor.

3.    Uncover those areas they are gifted in and stir that passion in them with activities, resources, and other individuals who can relate to them.

 

They are our future leaders and we have a choice in how we mold them to become the wonderful individuals they are called to be. Let’s take responsibility as people who influence them and assist them in their growth by being examples of good character and their greatest supporters.

 

Nothing Can Compare to the Bond Between a Mother & Son

Tonight I went to see a team of junior high students play basketball. Yes, I was partial to one of the players, but I'm all for team sports and the principles they teach. As I walked in I witnessed this wonderful scene between a mother and son.

I was walking up the bleachers to find a place to sit for the game and this 9 year old is laid out on the bench (not taking anybody else's spot to sit, there was plenty of room) with his head in his Mom's lap with her arms wrapped around him. I melted and thought to myself, what Mom doesn't want that? This was a precious moment of me witnessing the special bond between a mother and son. I know this young man as a natural athlete and very competitive, yet loves being around little kids.

 Many nine year olds wouldn't be caught seen wrapped in their mother's arm, but what a precious child this is who is confident enough to show his mom love and receive it. 

The basketball player I went to see played a great game and his team won. Hooray! Although I am of the belief that winning isn't everything and all the kids I work with know it. It's about doing your best and being part of the team. It was a great night and I was touched!!

This Mom has made a vested interest in her son's life and you can see it when you witness the love I did tonight.

How are you connecting with your child? Are you spending quality time with your son or daughter to laugh, play, or teach? Is the communication loving and respectful to build a strong foundation for the relationship? 

Imagine yourself as making deposits into your child's life each day. What kind of deposits are they? They can be simple acts that will matter for years to come. Is it a hug to greet the morning? A hug before sleeping at night? A show of appreciation for helping with dinner? A good job for a paper they wrote for school?

Each day you are building a bond with your child. Is it is getting stronger or weaker? Is it positive or negative? I urge you to take those small steps of giving love and encouragement, yet setting boundaries with your child to allow them to feel safe and secure with you.